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Say Goodbye to Guacamole

Human beings are, if nothing else, distinguished by their ability to adapt to dynamic, fluctuating and even uncomfortable environments within their generation. There are those (myself included) who believe that if you refuse to nurture your awareness of the world around you and adapt accordingly, then you are refusing to be a human.

Admittedly, the thought of our world changing drastically within our lifetimes is uncomfortable, depressing even.

Envisioning a world without ski competitions or Christmas trees is difficult to comprehend, as frighteningly realistic as these prospects might be. But a world without Guacamole — that is no world to live in at all!

According to The Center for American Progress, we’ve got a lot more not to look forward to if we continue to go about our days unaware. In a piece entitled Global Warming Wrecks All the Fun, we are exposed to the “top 100 effects of global warming”, though “top” is somewhat of an ambiguous, operative word.

For example, the aforementioned plight of the avocado:

Scientists from the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory predict hotter temps will cause a 40 percent drop in California’s avocado production over the next 40 years.

You can also say goodbye to fly fishing, baseball, and lobster dinners. In exchange we get more mosquitos, more hurricanes and everyone’s favorite, giant squid attacks!

Now, some may decry this report as alarmist and I would agree, to a degree, in that the report is clanging the klaxon like no other. Though, if you are not alarmed by the thought of a world without Guacamole, then I would argue that your senses have been dulled beyond repair.

So, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that 2030 is this magical year in the future where everything will somehow be better. Let’s not build any more coal plants or burn brain-dead biofuels or sully ourselves with an endless array of consumerist indulgences and distractions.

In the words of Derrick Jensen, forget hope. Simply hoping that everything will fix itself is a numb-skulled way of taking yourself out of the equation and refusing the responsibilities that come with the privilege of being human.

I believe Seal said it best in that “We’re never going to survive unless we are a little crazy.” So, lets act like some advanced, tool-wielding monkeys and innovate NOW!

Let’s cobble together some ambitious, bats-on-acid inventions and suck moisture out of the atmosphere for fresh water. Let’s take a note from Tesla and fire up the vortex engines and put some gigantic sails on container ships. Energy from poo! Vertical urban food farms! Go crazy or go extinct!

For the love of God/Allah/Ganesha/et al., save the guaco-taco dammit! Otherwise, we can go ahead and stop talking about colonizing mars or communicating with dolphins because this planet is going to be a major drag.

- Curtiss Martin

Curtiss P. Martin grew up in a geodesic dome on the side of a mountain in Southern Appalachia. Now he serves as ScribeMedia's clean technology editor in a tall building in downtown Manhattan.